The mistake.
The next chapter of the Naina's story, where she let's out the truth to Aarav and waits. Waits, to make her life a little less messier. Little less full of hate for her own self.
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.
"I have something to tell you...!" she typed on WhatsApp and pressed enter. And, without waiting for a response, sent another message, a link to a blog, to her own blog. She wrote everything about what had happened in her life in a certain period of time, in her blog,
"We might not talk again. Or, you may NOT WANT TO TALK to me again. But, all I have to say is, that you had to know the truth. You deserve honesty." Fell another tear drop on her mobile screen. But she had to do this. More than happiness, she wanted complete truth and honesty between Aarav and her.
She gulped down a glass of water and cried. Cried some more, blamed herself, felt guilty and ashamed and most of all, hurt.
After all that had happened to Naina, she could neither break down in front of her friends, nor stay strong and move on. The entire episode of Aashish had shattered her. She tried to find out where she went wrong, who to blame and how to recover.
Naina had been sexually harassed by her boyfriend Aashish. She kept quiet, forgiving him every time. Wondering, if resistance will make her lose him as well. It was not love, after all. Somehow, she realized it before it was too late. When she finally ran away from Aashish, all she could think of was Aarav.
Aarav who? The guy she actually loved but broke off because he lived in some other state. Long-distance relationship, as it is rumoured to be, did not last long.
After saving herself from the tortures of Aashish, Naina contacted Aarav and started talking. Aarav being madly in love with Naina asked nothing. No questions. No explanations. No demands. He even wanted Naina to come back into his life. Naina wanted to run into his arms away from the mean, bad world, forever. The question running in her mind was, will he accept her after knowing what happened while they were not together?
She did not know who's fault it was. She was too fast in landing into another relation just when she broke off with Aarav. But, Aashish told her everything she wanted to hear. Was she naive in believing him? Was he only trying to sleep with her? She couldn't help but blame herself and feel all miserable about everything.
Later, Aarav called. She was hesitant in picking the call.
"What was all that? Is the blog about you? Is it all true? Everything?" he went silent after saying all this.
Naina could feel the pain in his voice. She was not sure what to say. It would be worthless defending herself. She was at fault. The most important thing whirling in her mind was, did she want Aarav in her life again? Why? Just because she was hurt badly? How could she expect him to be with her after all this? She had left him and moved on, now why is she all weak and needy? Or, is it because she knew Aarav is the only person who could love her unconditionally, and keep her safe.
"I don't have words to describe my feelings. I don't even know if I'm supposed to say anything at all. I'll talk later." And, he disconnected.
She cried some more, cursing her for whatever mess she had made of her life. She felt so helpless. She wanted someone to hold her and tell her that it would be fine. It's okay to do mistakes. And, all she wanted was Aarav to be the person being by her side.
Now, that she rebounded to her love, she doubted her integrity. Was she doing this just because she was shaken? What if, Aarav and she could not stay together again, just like the previous time? Long-distance again!
As of now, she kept aside all her fears and what-ifs and just prayed for Aarav to accept her again. There were cracks and loopholes this time, but she promised herself to stay strong and not ruin it again.
Everything looked beautiful, one phone call away. She was so happy thinking about being with someone who loved her like no other. Dreamt of a peaceful and lasting relationship. Alas!
P.S.:- For people who are reading me for the first time, you can read the first part of the story here: Love.
Thank you for reading. Stay blessed. :)
:)
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