Exams? Aaarrrgghhh...

Life has brought me to a strange understanding of it.

Sometimes, I can see that people get what they do not deserve. Yet I cannot react or do anything about it. Why?
Because they happen to be my friends.

Also, right at the next moment I think of how could I even judge someone about whether they deserve something in life or not?!
How can I think so mean?!

So, am I plain jealous?
Or, should I just forget comparing my life with them and instead compete with my own self? I have read inspirational and motivational words at lot of places. Does that hold true in real life, at all?
Why can I not be confident and declare my capabilities without getting a feeling that that would be considered as bragging by my own friends? (There, for the first time I used 2 THATs in one sentence. Yay!)

Also, why don't I find people around more relaxed about marks.
If I don't get good marks, why do you have to console me for that? A part of my brain didn't die, alright?!
Again, if you got lovely marks, why do you have to exaggerate your feelings and make others feel bad about themselves?
*Okay, that's not your fault maybe. :/*

I am not brainy, neither a dumb-head. Period.

There are so many similar instances in life that:-

1) Made me hate examination system.

2) Made me feel if you score good marks, your own fucking friends get jealous; so I quit getting good marks or even studying properly, for that matter!

3) Made me hate friends who tell you they don't study and would not get good marks but end up topping the class.

Fair? You think so? Maybe, but I feel cheated.

Well, I don't say you have to agree with me. In fact, you can disagree and hate me back. If you read properly, you'll find me contradicting my own line of thought and getting utterly confused. This is how I am!

But, the fact remains. With time, this entire process kept on getting repeated and screwed my senses to a great deal.

Recovering may prove to be a tough task.


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